Today i got a bus again, i only went from outside my house to about 4 stops, to which is the village.
I then went into 2 shops and then to Sayers before Danny picked me up which was only about 15-20 mins after i firdt got on the bus BUT i guess it all helps- Baby steps or what!
I see my CBT therapist on 1st June and he is working out a programme so i will go out with someone i dont know- feel a bit anxious about that if im being honest as how the fuck will a stranger help me if im mid panic and wanting to go home, im also worried that if she says the wrong thing i will bite her head off as after all she prob doesnt know how im feeling inside and when im anxious i can be a total bitch as i get sooo frustrated. I think part of my "bus journey" today is so i can say to my therapist- Look i can go out alone so i dont need anyone, but i think deep down i do need someone but i already feel sorry for her meeting and putting up with me.
Wish me luck- and her, i guess she may need it more than me!!
I then went into 2 shops and then to Sayers before Danny picked me up which was only about 15-20 mins after i firdt got on the bus BUT i guess it all helps- Baby steps or what!
I see my CBT therapist on 1st June and he is working out a programme so i will go out with someone i dont know- feel a bit anxious about that if im being honest as how the fuck will a stranger help me if im mid panic and wanting to go home, im also worried that if she says the wrong thing i will bite her head off as after all she prob doesnt know how im feeling inside and when im anxious i can be a total bitch as i get sooo frustrated. I think part of my "bus journey" today is so i can say to my therapist- Look i can go out alone so i dont need anyone, but i think deep down i do need someone but i already feel sorry for her meeting and putting up with me.
Wish me luck- and her, i guess she may need it more than me!!
Oh wow it all makes sense now !
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