Weight issues

I weighed myself today.......

I have not weighed myself in around 5 months.
Last time i weighed myself i was 9 stone 4lbs which i was happy with- a size 10-12

The result was NOT GOOD!! Infact im mortified and have put myself on a diet!!!

I was( **edited* - See im using past tense even tho its should say "i am") 10 stone 8lbs- Thats DISGUSTING!!

I dont look after myself, ie: watch what im eating/exercise and well today has shown me i need to as im not going to turn into a disgusting fat blob of mess!

I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

All my clothes still fit me tho which are a 10-12, i think my top half has gotten bigger if im honest and not my boobs! I have man arms!! *Cries*

So day 1 of my exercise i walked the dog to the park, done some dunbell weights, walked around the block and made the tea.
No chocolate so far but i went and stocked up on some fruit for when ni get the urge.
I really hate the thought of no chocolate but i'll leave it alone if it makes me nice and trim again.

Dreams are shit!

Today i have a headache and i feel shit and to top it all of for some bizzare reason the last 2 nights i have been dreaming that my other half is cheating on me (in real i know he isnt)- Anyone fancy looking up the meaning to this dream for me, as its physically making me feel sick- just the thought of it!! Even tho its not real.

I have the most full on dreams, which are mainly horrible and shit- im weird!
Im feeling so woeful today- Must think positive!!

Anyway on other news, i finally picked my bridesmaid dresses/shoes and Mums dress! All done, paid and sorted..

Thats it.

I have felt really tired the last 2-3 days, i hope im not coming down with something!!
Im putting it down to too many ate nights and not enuff sleep.

Not much to report apart from that really. Oh my life can be sooo boring!! lol

Oh no wait a min.... I went for an italian last night or it may have been Monday - think it was Monday! Yes it was Monday ive just been informed! lol

Ive not been to a proper resturant in around a year and a half! Good Achievement hey!

Oooh an some piccys!!- Good job Danny dont read my blog!!

Frikken catch up!!

Hello...

Been a while, right.....

Well im still existing!!
Im back home, fresh after a CBT appointment, not the best one today as i got there at 11am an someone was still in the room so waited 10mins sitting down, there were 4 other people sitting there, i felt really uncomfortable so went outside, anyway.. we finally gets in the room around 11.20 and i start to feel really hot- this is one of my triggers!
Then the sweaty hands started. I know it was because my other half Danny left the doctors where i have my CBT (he usually stays and waits), so im getting all the bodily symptoms, after about 10mins they ease but im still aware of them being there- ppl who suffer anxiety will know what i mean when i say that.
But he thinks my progress is great, BUT, he thinks i can do more, but says im lazy and i need to get myself motivated in my mind to do.. He is right but its my fear thats stopping me, however i really want to be able to do more.... but im happy atm SO i have now changed it so i have fortnight appointments with Rob instead of weekly, then i dnt feel as much pressure to "get out", i wanna do it because i want to, not because i feel i have to!

Oh and did i tell you a good achievement i made!!!

I went wedding dress shopping with my Mum and Sister- Ive never been out with my Mum and Sister for about 5 years!!!
Above are my dress pics- i felt like a princess in it!! Really i did, and i cant wait to wear it:)